The Importance of Boundaries in Romantic Relationships

Establishing healthy boundaries that will enhance your relationship

Here are some tips that can help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries:

• Communicate your thoughts and feeling honestly and clearly. Whenever possible, be honest but respectful in sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Sometimes it’s difficult to sort out what you are thinking or feeling at any given moment. It’s fine to ask for some time to sort this out, but don’t use this as a tactic to avoid a future discussion.

• Ask your partner what they are feeling versus guessing. Each of you has your own thoughts and feelings, and each person is responsible for putting them into words in order to be understood. This way, your partner doesn’t need to guess.

• Take responsibility for your choices. Instead of blaming your partner for how you feel or for what’s happening, ask yourself how your choices – purposeful or accidental – may have contributed to the situation.

• Express your feelings as belonging to you without blaming your partner. For example, it’s much better to say something like, “I feel hurt and misunderstood in this conversation” than to say, “You made me feel hurt because of the way you talked to me.” The former is simply expressing an emotion; the latter is blaming your partner for the hurt feelings.

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